1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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