3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize