Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize