Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
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I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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