next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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