the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
