dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize