He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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