I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I want a musical about memes.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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