never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He shit in the fireplace
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize