Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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