you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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