you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
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I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
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It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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