Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize