Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
my vag is so smooth its legendary
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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