First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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