I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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