I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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