I wish I could punch you in the face.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize