So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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