Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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