she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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