so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
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Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize