Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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