Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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