Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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