some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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