and you said cock pushups were impossible
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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