too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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