I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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