Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize