The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize