if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
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Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
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I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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