I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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