My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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