just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize