proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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