the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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