just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize