My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize