I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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