I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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