I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
her facebook's as public as her vagina
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize