Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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