At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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