You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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