Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
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I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
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so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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