It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i now understand why vodka
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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