Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
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The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
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pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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