1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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