he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize